You squash a bug, kill a fly. Your houseplant dies, Fluffy the cat succumbs. Life abruptly vanishes each day … all around you. The media keeps you abreast of human demise. You want to know who is dying ‘out there’. Your own death will come … one day. Too bad you will not read about it. So how do you deal with death? This very common occurrence. Relief even glee when you overcome a threat by killing it? You chopped the head off that rattler! Yea! Mild sadness when the ferns shrivel up? Abject sorrow the day a pet, a relative or a friend dies? Probably. For the stronger the bonds between you and another, the more intense are your feelings of loss. Death is devastating at times. But it can also be a trivial event. How many mosquitoes have you ‘taken out’? You will never know, but you are always aware of this daily drama ... For you are a part of it.
So you learn to accept death. You deal with it in a variety of ways. Most times it will be an innocuous event. But those ‘train wrecks’ are coming. They are inevitable. Are you prepared? No point on dwelling upon the possibilities though. Worrying each day about loved ones can be stressful, even debilitating. So you try to be optimistic. Despite the very real threats down each and every road. “Woomph!”… “Oh my God.” “I didn’t say goodbye.” It will happen. Part of being alive.
Your mother dies, or your father, your spouse, your child or your friend. You find yourself in the throws of denial, anger and anguish. You are ‘face to face’ with finality. Absolutely nothing you can do about it. You cannot escape it: the very real realization that you will never share another moment with that person again. The feeling of ‘a void’ and pangs of grief ensconce themselves in your psyche forever. Your sadness is yours alone. No one can ever know what it is like for you. But others who have suffered similarly can help you understand the trauma and how to deal with it. Condolences will relieve some inner turmoil. Death does bring people together for a purpose: group appreciation of the deceased, words and rituals mourning their departure and expressions of hope for their continued existence. Sentiments shared each day around the world. Efforts at closure. How else to deal with mortality??
Of course you can become depressed. You loved someone with all your heart, with every fiber of your being. Life without them is unbearable. You shared so much. How do you cope? How can you accept this loss without being angry? Without berating a supposedly benevolent God? Give up altogether? Life is not worth living? Close down? Or do you focus on your commitments to others to give your life meaning … to carry on? And hopefully the pain will diminish. Others tell you it does. So bear your burden as best you can; each day will find it a little bit lighter. And life surely has more ‘purpose’ in store for you. Push on.
Learn to accept the inevitable: Every relationship will end in severance … sooner or later. You will experience emotional hurt but it does abate over time. Appreciate even relish the life ‘you had together’. The loving you shared made you a better person. SO NEVER STOP LOVING. In every way possible. Cherish that person ‘til the end of your days.
And if you believe in a Divine Plan, your quest
to grow by loving, then you must renew your faith in the
meaningfulness of life. Everything has purpose even your loss
and your pain. Accepting the brevity of life you mature and put
life’s quests in a proper perspective. You learn what is
important, what to value: most of all, loving relationships.
For you can never love too much or too many. And with your
experience and commitments you will have greater empathy and
compassion. You will become sturdier. You will make a difference
in the world. You will be loving … now and forever. And you will
embrace death, threshold to a Greater Reality, to Pure Love.